He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
