I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
