Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
