I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
