My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
