haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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