i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
