at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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