No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
