...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize