Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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