Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize