i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
