I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
