Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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