Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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