I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
