So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
