the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
