Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
