Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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