Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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