Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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