don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize