Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
