let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
