At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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