omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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