My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
