Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
