so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
