Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
