You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
