You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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