My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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