guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
