Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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