drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
