dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i think my cat just said my name.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
