My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
