Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
