I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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