He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
