I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I AM VODKA MAN
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
