One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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