The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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