i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
