it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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