Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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