Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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