fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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