the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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