Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
