Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize