If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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