remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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