she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
