u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
