I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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