google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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