After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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