Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
