I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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