toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
