You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize