so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
