You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
