Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
