So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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