Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
