I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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