I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
