she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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