You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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