I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
