Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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