Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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