Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
