Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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