it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
